So it’s been a minute since I posted a blog…almost 9 months in fact. I could come up with many excuses for not writing and could almost always fall back on busyness as an excuse, but I always say that you have time for what you make time for. So why didn’t I make time for writing? Procrastination is an interesting phenomenon. I try to help my clients explore it nonjudgmentally as a sign of ambivalence, and so I’ve reflected on that for myself. Ambivalence is “the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone.”1 I love to write and see it as a means of practicing creativity with words as I share my ideas. The other side of that ambivalence is that it’s vulnerable to create and share something not knowing how it will be evaluated. As a One on the Enneagram, I have to manage the inner critic in my head who is
constantly telling me that I can do better and it’s not quite good enough. That voice can help me to work hard and pursue excellence, and it can also create fear that holds me back. So that’s where faith comes in. Faith is the shield that protects us when we need to take action despite feeling afraid. So by faith, I write in hopes that it might help someone. To learn more about ambivalence visit Dr. Linda Buchanan’s website at https://www.lindapaulkbuchanan.com/2 and consider her workbooks: “I’m Not Good Enough Workbook” and “Resolving Ambivalence Workbook.”
Just as that inner critic tells me that it’s not good enough, it also tells me that my work is never done. Perhaps you can relate, and if you can, I hope that sharing my experience is helpful to you. A few months ago I went through a period of feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, making it hard for me to find as much joy in my work and personal life. I decided it was time to take a book off my shelf that I got over a year ago but never finished- “Burnout: Completing the Stress Cycle” by twin sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski3. Signs of burnout can include anxiety, fatigue, low mood, lack of creativity, headaches and difficulty concentrating to name a few4. If you think you might be on the brink of or in the depths of burnout, I highly recommend this book. It opened my eyes to a shift that needed to take place. I was not creating enough time or space for soul care because I hid behind the need to be responsible. I had some limitations to accept, and in doing so it became the pathway to new possibilities. Just like breathing, contraction and expansion work together in rhythm.
This brings me to sharing the vision that I have for Nurtured Soul Counseling & Wellness. Although the practice started with just me, my vision from the beginning always was to grow to include a multidisciplinary team when the time was right. That time is now, and I’ve taken the first step by hiring an administrative assistant, Cherie Oakley. Cherie comes with nearly 20 years of administrative experience and a strong background in the music industry. As she assists with tasks such as scheduling, billing and marketing, I am freed to focus more on client care. I am so grateful to have her on my team! Furthermore, I will soon be hiring other clinicians to join in the work of nurturing the body, soul and spirit. By choosing to contract or let go of certain responsibilities, it frees me to expand to better serve more people. Stay tuned for an update on who else joins my team.
The point that I want to emphasize is that when you let go or contract the things that are keeping you from being your best self, you are then free to see the bigger picture and expand to possibilities. This is a spiritual practice when we look to the purpose of something larger than ourselves. I invite you to consider if there’s an area of your life in which God may be asking you to contract so that you can expand to the possibilities of what He may want to do in and through you.
References:
- https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/ambivalent
- https://www.lindapaulkbuchanan.com/
- https://www.burnoutbook.net/
- https://ada.com/signs-of-burnout/