Waiting

I am not sure about you, but I struggle with being patient.  Maybe it is because I am a millennial or an enneagram 8, but I confess that I do enjoy the instant gratification that technology provides for us today. If I am honest, the instant gratification eliminates me having to wait, and that is the thing I am wanting to avoid the most.  I do not like waiting in a long line to check out, a package to arrive, or for a table at a restaurant. These are the mundane moments of waiting that affect us all, but perhaps some of you are wrestling with a heavy season of waiting that is more than just irritating. The thirty something single person waits for a partner; the couple who has had 3 miscarriages waits for a healthy baby; the survivor of intimate partner violence waits for a court date; and the parents of a young man struggling with addiction wait for him to choose full recovery.

We can be patient people when we fully accept the art that is waiting.  I find myself feeling like March is a month where we unintentionally find ourselves waiting. We are relieved that the colder months are behind us, but still anticipating the warmth and growth that Spring brings. We have begun the shift of putting our winter coats back in the closet, but our flip flops are not yet needed.  So, we wait.

As waiting can be challenging and uncomfortable for a lot of us, I want to provide some explanation for why that might be.

1. Waiting forces us to be present.

To identify that we are waiting, we must be present.  Whether we are waiting for an unanswered prayer, a season to change, or some exciting news, waiting forces us to reflect on our current emotions, situations, and desires.  Think about how focused we become on our frustration when the line is taking too long or when we believe we have done everything the “right way” and it is still not working out.  On the other end, think about how quickly we are to point out how fast a line moved or how painless a “no waiting” process was. Being present means we have to be honest with ourselves, about ourselves; which often reveals our blind spots that we would rather ignore.

2. Waiting reveals our unspoken expectations

We all have expectations.  We create these from our own personal experiences, childhoods, value systems, core beliefs, etc.  Maybe you are intentional about communicating your expectations and being flexible with them.  Maybe you ignore your expectations and then are confused by the disappointment you consistently feel professionally, personally, and spiritually. In moments or seasons of waiting, our unspoken expectations immediately rise to the surface. We are faced with the reality that what we hoped for, prayed for, or expected, is not happening.

3. Waiting is a “waste of time”

We live in a culture that praises workaholism and looks down on rest or living at a “slower pace.”  Because of this, we can buy into the lie that waiting is a “waste of time.”  We begin to beat ourselves up for not being more productive or even having hope that what we are waiting for, is going to be worth it.  We believe that if we are not productive with our time, then it is simply wasted, and society looks down on time that does not produce a result.

Waiting is not easy, but it is essential. It's during the seasons of "waiting" that bring so much growth, healing and personal discovery. The bible is filled with stories of people who waited.  Abraham waiting for a son, Moses waiting for freedom, Esther waiting on the Lord, and many more.  When we study their stories, we do not judge them for not being productive but rather hold them with high regard for the years of obedience and faith they had to continue to wait.  In Lamentations, it reads “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him” (3:25).  Rather than being fearful or avoidant of waiting, let’s take the opportunity to practice self-compassion and become curious with ourselves during the emotional challenges waiting can bring.