Summer Can Increase Exposure

It's summer and school is out, which means it is peak season for traveling, flip flops and SPF is the first thing you see when you walk into the store! As a kid, I remember July being the month when I rode my bike to the neighborhood swim practice every morning and then rode it back home once the sun was beginning to go down! I cannot imagine letting kids do that today, without being able to check their location or send a text to make sure they are okay. Today, kids have access to much more information, whether that's the most viral TikTok dance or the most recent news headlines. When I was a kid, I was excited about getting to watch The Price is Right in the summer or seeing the new music videos drop on Saturday mornings! To say that my experience as a child was very different than kids in this generation, would be an understatement. Not saying all things digital are bad, kids can connect with their friends and family in ways that I could not at their age, which can be really sweet to watch. On the other hand, that same device that provides connection also allows them to be exposed to dangers I could never have fathomed at that age and to see some scary and tragic things happening in our world, before we even get a chance to shield them or prepare them. Disastrous floods, school shootings, church shootings, etc. Heavy things for adults to process much less our kids.

Mary Ann Green, founder of our practice and current practitioner shared that as she recently interacted with her 7-year-old son and mentioned part of their summer vacation would include visiting family in Minneapolis he said, “Minnesota? Oh no!” This response came shortly after the shootings of 2 Minnesota lawmakers and their spouses. He caught wind of that news and suddenly Minnesota was not a safe place.  Mary Ann let her son know that this was a person who did a terrible thing in Minnesota but Minnesota can still be a good place to enjoy on their vacation. She recognized his fear, assured him and helped shift his focus.

• Age-appropriate Honesty - Kids are not afraid to ask the hard questions and then follow up with even more questions! Trust that their questions indicate what they can handle processing. It is imperative that you are honest with your kids and use an age-appropriate lens when delivering that information. I love using the image of a suitcase for how much information our kids can “handle” or “carry”. At a younger age, their suitcase is more about the cartoon on it, rather than what is on the inside.  But as they get older, the size, color, and style of their suitcase changes, and they can be responsible for more.
• Start Regulated and Stay Regulated - It is important for you to start these conversations in a state of regulation and calmness. You need to have separated your feelings about things, so that you can create space for your kids’ thoughts and feelings. It's okay to feel with them, but not to process with them. Where these conversations take place can also have an impact on our own regulation. I recommend having these conversations while; drawing, going on a walk, driving, cooking together, etc.
• Limit Exposure To News and Social Media - Parents and caregivers have a responsibility to be aware of what content their kids are looking at and to set limits that they feel are appropriate. Also, consider getting news in a way that doesn’t expose your kids to things that are not age-appropriate for them.
•  Talk about what they can control - If they have seen or read something disturbing talk them through what they can do to feel safe. A good way for them to feel they can take action is to talk of ways to help. For example, perhaps they have some old toys that they could donate to kids who survived a house fire or flood.
• Reassure Kids  - Kids need to feel free to enjoy their environment and not assume that the bad that they heard about will happen to them. Reassure your kids and help shift their focus like Mary Ann did.

One of my favorite quotes is from Mr. Rogers. He said, "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." We can find hope and inspiration amidst negativity just by shifting our focus and teaching our kids to do the same.